編輯室報告︰高雄市鬧區中華四路及青年二路路口,某知名衛浴中心以該店駐店馬桶西施「奶茶」為號召,吸引天下柯基前往PK,一較高下。本刊記者林樂長特地自台北南下高雄,為讀者現場直撃柯基無差別格鬥技的激烈戰場!

[高雄訊]九月八日傍晚,高雄市的天氣悶熱潮溼,像是要下雨卻又遲遲下不來,光是在街上走不到100公尺,就能讓人汗如雨下。主編和攝影師已有十幾年沒有來到高雄,年僅一歲半的記者更是第一次來到南台灣,當然不能錯過前市長向來頗為自豪的政績--愛河風光,拍照留念。
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離開「真愛碼頭」,本刊採訪小組一行二人一犬,驅車來到了某知名衛浴中心,門口的志玲姐姐帶著甜美的笑容迎接我們。

攝影師原本想佯裝看馬桶的客人,以詢問有沒有專門給短腿狗使用的馬桶為由,暗訪馬桶西施。但看到老闆人高馬大體格極佳,當場打消不正經的念頭,還是叫主編和記者先進去取得採訪許可。

取得採訪許可後,馬桶西施--奶茶馬上就給記者來個下馬威!<IMG "" src="http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii20/debrahyc/D40X/080907%20MILK%20TEA/DSC_1244.jpg" border=0>

奶茶發現記者無惡意,便搖起翹臀邀請記者一起蹴鞠
(本刊強烈推薦,為了看懂「赤貧之戰」,就務必請先看「赤壁」上集!
看了就知道怎麼玩蹴鞠)

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無奈本刊記者文化水平欠佳,更沒有體育風度,不僅不懂蹴鞠的奧義
搶不到球還對著奶茶大吼大叫...{#emotions_dlg.emotion_010}
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反觀奶茶不但沒有生氣,還很高興有人陪她玩球~刻意放水讓了記者幾回
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毫不知情的小白記者還以為自己很厲害,跟著奶茶一起向奶茶拔討球玩~
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豈知蹴鞠只不過是暖場,玩不到幾回合,奶茶便開始採取主動,測試記者的戰技~
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記者拿出娘砲的氣魄,與奶茶力拚~
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奶茶掌握地主優勢,利用自家場地飛簷走壁,記者追趕不及,徒勞無功
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趁記者一個不備,奶茶正面一撲即朝記者臉皮張口欲咬,記者大驚失色~
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第一回合由奶茶大獲全勝!完敗的記者尋求奶茶麻的慰藉~
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奶茶心情大好,很有風度的安慰本刊記者~讓記者又拾回一點男性的自尊...
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一場混戰之後,奶茶麻拿出牛筋圈招待本刊記者
奶茶則表演頂牛筋圈的俏皮模樣~

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受過嚴格訓練的奶茶絕不會自行跨出店門
讓不時想逃離主編魔掌的記者看傻了眼,連牛筋圈都忘了吃~
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換邊繼續享用美食~補充體力迎接下一戰!
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此時來了一家客人,前來選購衛浴設備
為避免驚嚇到三位客人,有「嗜吻狂魔」一渾號的記者被主編牢牢看管
馬桶西施則靜靜趴在一旁
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當把拔瑪麻忙著招呼客人的時候,奶茶不是自己練習運球,就是鴨趴在地上等候
主編對於馬桶西施的專業精神感到十分尊敬

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誰說賣馬桶腿一定要那麼長!奶茶的甜美笑容一點都不輸志玲姐姐!
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奶茶怕記者無聊,還來教他玩哈哈鏡...(噗)
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撩人的姿態代言衛浴設備不做二犬想!
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奶茶拔在我們開始採訪之後,就打了幾通電話通知幾位競技選手前來一同接受採訪
首先到場的是奶茶的第一位朋友丸子(唸作MARU,女生)
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丸子一來二話不說,馬上來個泰山壓頂...{#emotions_dlg.emotion_008}
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奶茶馬上躍起反擊!(據說這一切都是例行公事)
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丸子技高一籌,轉身又把奶茶壓制在地!
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奶茶再來個鷂子翻身,形勢逆轉!
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如此大戰數十回合,奶茶整個有如進入超級賽亞人的狀態,開始暴衝!
先衝進店內最裡頭,再加速向外衝,奮力朝兩位門神一撲!(左邊的苦主是丸子拔)
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如此暴衝數回合,奶茶拔和丸子拔只能如沙袋般輪流承受奶茶的飛撲...

攝影師慶幸自己沒有選擇蹲在店門口拍攝,不然沒吃鐵牛運功散的話肯定要內傷...{#emotions_dlg.emotion_008}

奶茶趴著喝水的招式獨具一格~
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奶茶終於累到倒下休息,丸子又把奶茶當枕頭~
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眼尖的讀者可能已經心生疑問,本刊記者到哪去了?

打從丸子一登場和奶茶大戰的頭幾回合,娘砲記者就嚇得躲到牆角去...{#emotions_dlg.emotion_015}

當奶茶變身成超級賽亞人之後,記者更是剉啊到不行,直接躲到老闆辦公室桌底下避難

不但拋棄記者的尊嚴,更丟盡了台北公狗的臉...{#emotions_dlg.emotion_016}

記者︰夭壽喔...高雄的女生怎麼都這麼HYONG...人家好怕怕...
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(未完待續)

下篇預告︰更HYONG的女生還在後頭!娘砲發功是否成功?不要回來,我們馬上走開!XDDD

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